First time foster parent vs experienced foster parent: Saying goodbye & reunification

I remember my first reunification. I was not prepared for the "goodbye" moment. I'm sure whatever I said wasn't exactly what I hoped it would be.

After some experience, I learned to say my "goodbyes" the day before. Then, when it's time to say goodbye on the day of reunification, I can more clearly support the child and their parent. Offering choice, comfort, care, support, and focus on the reunion. I also find I am not as emotional, but I've gotten pretty good at compartmentalizing - I know everyone handles things differently!

I try not to promise anything that I am not completely sure about. This can be confusing.
And by saying you are sad, depending on the age of the child, they may get confused and feel guilt or blame for making you sad by leaving.

Of course, every child will want to hear something different from you, and so it's important to be in tune with their specific needs.

If you need help processing so you can remain calm, sincere, and regulated during the goodbye, consider finding a trusted foster parent friend to vent with, join a support group, seek out spiritual support, or work with a mental health professional.

My way of doing things certainly is not the only way. Feel free to drop your experiences and tips below! ⬇️

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